Wednesday, July 7, 2010


this is a special report from ACCIDENT BEAR!!!

ok guys the weather is really warm out there so i wanted to remind you that that means it is GERM SEASON! there are bugs ... everywhere!! bugs spread GERMS, and germs love this hot weather! everything gets totally rotten IMMEDIATELY! i hibernate all winter so all i ever get to see is germ season :-(((((!!!!!

cockroaches walk on anything. i mean there is poop for instance but maybe even worse is just hanging out with the other cockroaches. GROSS! flies are just as gross but they fly around getting germs from EVERYTHING EVERYWHERE ALWAYS and then they walk around on your watermelon and birthday cakes. can't eat those now. they are contaminated. even though they look fine. ruined.

fig. 1. flies step on everything and have never wiped their feet their whole lives

TIPS to stay in tip-top shape:
start with food that has no germs: anything that is inert like sand or completely dry like rice or dried leaves or beef jerky
• boil it like crazy: boil vigorously for minutes! i don't know how many minutes is good :-( more is better!! frying is boiling with oil so that works fine too! maybe boil in anything liquid but always watch out for poison!!!
• eat it right away: if it burns your tongue it is burning the germs too. this might be the only way to really know?
• i only eat RAW ANIMALS. OH. MY. GOD.!!!

bugs have no fear or sanity. germs are not even alive but they are tiny monsters that want to poison you anyway. that is too bad, but it is true. please, PLEASE, be careful what you eat.

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