Thursday, July 1, 2010

through the worm's hole

as you may know, i'm on a presumably lifelong and relatively casual quest for an understanding of the origins of the universe based on horrible oversimplifications of modern physics, usually involving grievously inapplicable or inscrutable metaphors (imagine the universe is an 8-dimensional donut, except it doesn't taste good, and it's made out of time). as such, i was eager to tune in to "through the wormhole with Morgan Freeman".

you've got to pay the troll toll to get into the wormhole

the first thing Invictus says when the show comes on is "is there a creator?", to which i replied "Morgan, i already told my t.v.--while you were on it--that i'm not going to see 'bruce almighty'." i'm not exactly sure why I got angry at Morgan Freeman, or why i thought that t.v.s work that way. HD is just so realistic. it looks like, as usual, to understand more about my universe i must understand more about televisions. i thought briefly about how they do work, which of course then inevitably brought me back to my questions regarding the origins of our universe. a vicious circle.

while i was distracted, i am pretty sure Shawshank called me a wormhole. this had the potential to get ugly, but we both managed to stay cool.

Morgan doesn't flip the double bird lightly, and often spends several
 minutes  infusing it with passion before the devastating delivery

Morgan brought on priests who believe in physics, to convince the religious that dudes, science is totally real (even for priests). he brought out physicists who believe in god, but i mean also darth vader, so i'm not sure how valuable that was. then came the guys who believe in just physics, saying stuff like "if god just did it then i just wasted my life doing math! that's impossible." they kind of seemed like toolbags but at least they talked about stuff that gets totally convincing once they break down your will to attempt to comprehend the analogies and just nod and believe them. if you are wondering, the guys who believe in only the mystical were left out until they could find a fucking clue. oh! am i right, Freeman?!

in the next episode they spent a lot of time talking a lot about ways to stretch out your wormhole so as you can imagine I spent a lot of time giggling.

as a special thank you for watching this episode, Morgan came on after the credits to offer this hilarious euphemism:

 "BRB dudes, I've got
 to pass some dark matter
 through this wormhole."

Five stars. Great job!

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