Restaurant Review: My Kitchen

0 stars
i have a little bit of a buzz from the partly rancid pear i just ate and that is the ONLY thing liked about this place. crunchy peanut butter on hearty wasa crispbread is a terrible entree. that's a savory cracker, and spreading crunchy peanut butter over its rough surface is a chore. bad decision, guys. we can do better than this. well, let's have a look at the drink menu, then: tap water, tea, or beer. that's actually not a bad selection, and i'll take one of each please, garcon.

for dessert, may i recommend the oatmeal with tap water? it is served room temperature, and if you are lucky i might still have some dried currants or cranberries to jazz it up. in the spirit of jazz, i will now name these delights:


The Notes Cafe 
"Friends gather here"

Appetizers There's an "app'" for that
Practice on a Peach
This delicious appetizer consists entirely of one Bosc pear. It is prepared by ignoring it for several weeks until it gets that perfect tangy flavor and alcohol content. $0

Entrees Entrez-vous for tastes that will make you say "ooh la la"
The Nutty Swede
Crunchy peanut butter on hearty Swedish Wasa crispbread. A delicious treat that is honestly a little hard to eat. Please clean up your own crumbs. $0
Buttery Rice
This rice is enhanced by delicious butter. There might also be some spices or chili powder or whatever to put on it. Oh, and maybe we have beans?* $0
Thai Surprise
Where your server runs to Talay Thai real quick and grabs something. $20

* Please allow an additional hour for the preparation of meals containing rice, and ten hours (overnight soak+2 hours cooking) for meals containing beans.

Soups They're souper, thanks for asking.
What Broth Doth
Your choice of veggie or beef broth. Delicious. $0
Egg Drop Soup
We will drop an egg in the aforementioned broth and swirl it around. Neat. $0

Desserts Sweeten the Deal
It's not Breakfast if you eat it after Dinner
An oatmeal based dessert with oatmeal, water, and dried currants and cranberries.** $0

** Nota bene: It really is better if you eat it before it gets mushy. Yes, I was taught how to "properly" make oatmeal. No, I don't know what is wrong with me.

Drinks moisten your evening
Tap Water
Guaranteed potable by the City of Baltimore $0
Tea
Black, Green, Mint, Red (rooibos), or any combination of these. $0
Beer
Rotating selection. Currently serving Budweiser and Lucky Kat. $0 but i mean if you brought some with you next time it would be cool. i mean you don't have to. but you know.